Regulation and Romantic Relationships.

 

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Crystal Arber:

Interesting how so many dating advice sites and popular dating books  ask that women stop being needy, or never act needy, or remain aloof,  but what a lot of these self-help articles for dating and relationship  miss, is how  important it is to turn toward our partner, be honest about our feelings, and then regulate our own anxiety. Pretend to be cool, or make him think it doesn’t bother you, and be distant, is turning away from your partner.Rather than, “pretend you are aloof and don’t care,” I would say, tell your guy what is going on for you and then make it clear that you don’t need him to change just because you are having some feelings that aren’t so pretty. Your guy might think you are a total geek,  or he might find your openness and directness completely refreshing. Chances are good that he is not used to frankness because…

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